The Two Schmucks of the Galaxy
by Roman God of Chaos
Summary: The Vanguard are in need of new guardians due to losing more as the darkness grows stronger. They have a plan though are now willing to use their most powerful of guardians to stop the darkness. Not the cool ones, but these two morons. With these two morons the galaxy is possibly already doomed to die, either by alien races, or by these two schmucks. Rater M for mature language.
1. The Meeting

**Hello everyone and how are we doing? Okay well, no answers. I like that. Anyways I am sorry that I have not been updating my recent story but I soon will. Anyways I am making this new story because my friend and I talked it over on the playstation about our two characters being these two very stupid dumbasses in the galaxy. I do hope you enjoy Destiny and the names will be from our names on Playstation since we thought they'd be funnier. The Rise of the Chaos Dragon Slayer will be updated by next week since I have been busy. Ain't nothing gonna stop me from writing…except my mom, family, mercenaries, hot women. A lot of things.**

 _Tower_

All of the vanguard were gathered around a large round table in their hall. They were discussing a certain topic of guardians and how strong the darkness was becoming. "You do understand are numbers are short, yes? We need more guardians, or at least more experienced ones on the field of combat. The Hive are pushing into more territories and we are losing more guardians than the usual two or three in a month. I have received over at least 16 deaths this past month," the warlock vanguard, Ikora Rey, said to everyone as they all pondered this thought as well.

"I have to say it, but she's right. We are losing lots of good guardians out there. Have the ghosts found anything yet or are we still waiting for more guardians?" Cayde-6 asked as he set his feet on the table,, to lazy to even try to stand like the rest.

Zavala stood tall, but his face mixed with one of confusion and slight worry. "I believe I have a plan, but you probably won't like it," he said and soon pulled up his ghost. "Show the group files 25 and 300 please," he asked as his ghost soon floated in front of the group and projected a large screen. The screen showed two numbers from 25 to 300.

"We have two guardians who I believe can help, but the problem is they were placed in prison after their certain escapades, destruction, and possible insanity." He said with a face full of worry.

"Well if they can help why not call them?" Cayde-6 asked, yawning as he stared at the screen through his eyes. "They were placed under arrest at the Reef for breaking the treaty temporarily and killing innocent lives, blowing up over old land marks, and of course killing fellow guardians. These two are possibly the most idiotic of guardians, and possibly the worst guardians in all of history." Zavala said before footage showed a large exo with a titan build. He had two horns on his head as he looked at the camera.

"This here is the muscle of the duo. Capn_300. He is the stupid one, but also the strong one and has had his memory erased 300 times, thus gaining the title of 300." The group observed the massive titan and raised eyes. "He has been known for property damages, killing innocents, taking the lives of at least 200 guardians, and…has slept with the Queen of the Reef. He is also the only known being who has been collecting porno magazines from Earth's old times," Zevala said with a face full of shame. He was seriously doubting this plan already, but they had no choice. "He was placed into a prison due to his excessive force, destruction, and breaking almost all our codes. Now onto his partner," he paused and motioned for the screen to change.

The screen revealed another exo with red eyes and two antennas on both sides of his head. He had a smirk on his face and was laughing. "This here is Artia25. He is the brains of the group, the smart one and also the stupid one. He is a womanizer, a moron, and is responsible for the theft of Xur's weapons after he beat Xur into submission. He's also known to be Capn's only friend and these two have basically been partners. He is also known for his sex life with every woman he has met with, rumor has it that he and Capn ate a cabal and made it into a soup." He paused as Ikora stared in disbelief while Cayde-6 just flipped him off.

"I will now display an old video of them out in the field real quickly." He said and the image soon turned from Arita to an image of Earth's Russia. The place seemed normal before an entire explosion rocked it as two figures began running from it.

" _DEAR LORD KEEP RUNNING MAN," Arita25 yelled out as he and the Titan ran from a huge horde full of hive thrall as they chased after them. "I REGRET NOTHING!" Capn yelled out, holding a magazine in his hands as he leapt over a piece of rubble._

" _You had to fucking take the porno, huh moron!?" Arita yelled at his partner through the screen through his Ram helmet. Capn laughed before nodding. "BITCH PLEASE. They had a porno with them, and I regret nothing. YOU HEAR THAT ASSHOELS?! KISS MY FUCKING ASS YOU FILTHY WHORES!" He yelled and fired a shot from his gun, taking down three but not the other two hundred that kept following. Arita and Capn turned a corner before ending up right in front of a large missile that seemed in stasis. They both looked at it before at each other. "Capn?"_

" _Way ahead of you prison bitch." He said before going up to it._

" _FUCK YOU!" Arita yelled out in range before going outside and ducking behind a piece of rubble with a large machine gun in hand. "Variks you're a useless pile of shit, but you're useful for guns you asshole," he said before lifting up The Chain of Orbik's-Fel. He laid it across a piece of rubble and flipped off the incoming thrall, their piercing screams ringing through his audio receptors. "HEY THRALL!" He yelled as the thrall stopped, curious as to what this human wanted._

" _Go fuck yourselves!" Arita shouted before blasting away at the sons of bitches who came at him as he mowed them down with his machine, tossing a couple of void grenades as well._

" _DONE! FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT!" Capn yelled as he set the bomb up and began running outside. Arita stopped shooting and ran after his friend who had his ghost in hand. "Alright Capn let's get the hell out of this shithole." He said as Capn just flipped off the thrall behind him. "Finally. Y'know it was totally worth that porno." He said as Arita soon took him and himself to their ships as the thrall stopped, curious as to what happened._

" _THREE!"_

 _The thrall stared in shock at what was there in front of them. A nuclear missile, full of nuclear shit, and would blow most of Russia into more chaos._

" _TWO!"_

 _One thrall however finally gained enough intelligence to say one word, one word that would change the history of thrall forever._

" _ONE!"_

" _Fuck…" It rasped out before a large blast shook the camera, shutting off from here._

"Well that's the video and why they were put into a maximum security prison in the reef. I have to sadly say I want them here now. Would anyone care to object?" Zavala asked the stunned faces of Cayde-6 and Ikora. They both couldn't deny how fucking stupid were those two, all for a porn mag? However the results of destruction would help them out quite a lot.

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

"Well I will file the report to the Queen of the Reef later today. I just need a drink to ease out the pains of myself right now for what I am about to release."

The vanguard's left Zavala as he drank away in sadness, knowing he was gonna doom the entire galaxy to his guardians.

 **Hey guys. I hope you liked this short start up, but I want you guys to know that I am working on chapters for my other story on my ipad. Know that Natsu will rule the world! HAHAHAHAHHA! Anyways please be patient and I want to write a lot like the others. So I am hoping to break past 9000 words so that it can be longer and more enjoyable for you guys. Also I am Arita25, and CAPN_300 is my friend. Find us on PS3 and we will happily speak to you. Any ideas are welcome, and please, send your own characters if you wat. Just PM and I'll see if I can add your character to my story as a permanent guardian or just a small side character who appears every now and then. Enjoy.**


	2. The Escape

**Hey there guys. I think people have come by and read this, but I want to explain a few things. These ideas are completely made by Capn and I. On the playstation we like to talk about all this funny stuff we'd do in destiny, like an AU(alternate universe). So Capn is a porn guy, pretty sure he is, and I am a Mexican, not really I'm Jewish, but it's part of the story. Now you might say "The vanguard won't act like that!" or something similar, remember this is a comedy. One based on funny ideas we came up with. I don't own Destiny and I hate bungie, let's start.**

Arita sighed as he laid his back on the cold steel of the prison he was in. His eyes glowed through the dark while he looked at his one arm. Yes, ONE arm, Arita had lost his arm the first few days in prison after he was brutally beaten on by dozens of people who knew him from his destruction, but his comrade actually was left alone. Usually because they knew he was way worse, and Arita was a way easier target without his trusty Thorn by his side.

He looked through the bars of his cell and banged on the bars twice. "Cap you there?" Arita whispered through the darkness. A resounding bang echoed a few cells on the right. Arita smirked and fiddled with his orange jumpsuit before pulling out a small key from his neck. Exos had a lot of circuitry, allowed for someone to easily put a small little device through the vocal cords. Arita smiled before he placed his right arm outside the cage and slid the key over. A few seconds later an unlocking sound was heard, and out came a large brute of an Exo with red piercing optics that stared at Arita. "Come on man! Hurry up…," Arita quickly said as Capn nodded. "Whatever prison bitch."

"Go fuck yourself! You left me to get beat on, and five guys was plenty for you to take! Why didn't you do something?!" He nearly yelled if he could if it weren't for the fact that that would alert the guards of the prison they were in. "I was reading a porno," he said and Arita just stared with a 'really' face. "It was VINTAGE," He sounded out vintage, as if proving a point. "Alright forget it. Let's just go and get my arm back too. I can't get a replacement since space State Farm kind of bailed on my ass after the arrest bro." Arita sighed, cursing Space State Farm.

Capn unlocked the gate and nodded before punching it down, an alarm soon sounding out throughout the prison. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! DID YOU LITERALLY PUNCH DOWN THE GATE WHEN IT WAS UNLOCKED?!" Arita shouted, not even trying to lower his voice. "Smashing shit is more fun and you know it. Let's go!" Capn said before stopping as a wave of guards came in. They each held a Vestian Dynasty with them and had it pointed at the duo.

"Freeze. By order of the Reef you are to return to your cells immediately," a guard stated, guns trained on them.

"Capn I forgot to mention that those guys burned down the porn collection you had on your ship. Okaygoodluckbye!" Arita said, backing up as Capn soon began shaking. "Excuse me?" A guard asked before a certain titan rammed through the guards, knocking them straight through the walls. "YOU MONSTERS! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!" Capn said, shouldercharging through a wall and charging more so that he could return to the ship to achieve his revenge in the form of badassery. Arita sighed and ran through the holes while picking up one of the pistols lying on the floor. He began shooting at a few of the guards, killing them and also shooting one right in the leg. "Alright. Room 341…room 342…and here we are," he said, stopping in a room full of prized possessions that belonged to the prisoners. Arita saw an arm that was moving and smiled before grabbing it and smirking as it made a thumbs up. "There you are. Come to daddy," Arita said before placing his arm back on and smiling. He flexed the fingers and each responded accordingly as they curled inwards into a fist then outwards. Arita then heard a large crash echo around the prison and followed the holes before stopping as four guards were thrown into a wall before falling onto each other's back. Arita peeked from the hole and saw Capn throwing guards into the ground or punching them and knocking them out. Capn was about to be ambushed from behind before he ripped off a chunk of metal from beneath his feet and threw it behind him, slicing the guard in half.

"Alright Capn! Good job. Now let's get going! Our ride is here man!" Arita said before running through ships, and ships, and ships before ending up in front of his baby. The Ticktock Inquisitor, and boy was she a beauty. From her black hull to her orange middle exterior plating. He nodded before opening the doors to his ship and entering it and getting into the pilot's seat. Capn's porn collection was right in the bin next to his seat. He always made sure to keep his shit safe since in his ship it always ended up blowing up, and right now he was going to fly this ship off and finally escape from this prison he was sent to all those years ago. He started the ship and a loud sound emerged, the guards noticing the ship were quickly knocked through the floor by an angry exo's fist. Capn looked to his right and saw Arita lift the ship up and began hovering to where he was. Capn grabbed a nearby crate and tossed it at a few guards who had their guns drawn out, ready to shoot down the ship's engines. Arita hovered next to Capn before the exo climbed the side hangar door and entered, the door closing before the ship turned to face the hangar's sealed doors. "Alright all passengers please hold onto any railings we have because we are about to bust out of prison my friends." Arita spoke through the radio before Capn was sent to the floor as the ship soon drove forward, blasting open the doors with its side cannons and escaping into the void of space. People flew through the hole from the vacuum of space, losing oxygen quickly and suffering a slow death.

Arita heard the sounds of footsteps and saw that his companion had reached the bridge, along with his pornos which were now being read by the exo, who I might add was covered in blood, and giggling was heard. "Oh yeah baby…that's the stuff," Capn said slowly as Arita cringed slightly.

Arita groaned as his ship soon flew away, leaving the others in the dust.

 **Meanwhile**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ESCAPED?! HOW MUCH?! HOW MANY DIED?! A certain vanguard shouted as he just received a message from the reef's prison.


	3. Spaceys!

**Hey guys, me again. Now for all those Fairy Tail lovers for my other story, know that school is pretty tough, but I want you all to have a dragon slayer you can love! Anyways I will update Rise of the Chaos Dragon very soon. Please be patient and hold your applause. Now I will post this with every update to this story, but if you want to give us some ideas, plz PM me or contact my friend and I on PS3. Play Station 3 and add us, Arita25(Me) and CAPN_300(The pornoman) and play destiny and chat with us for ideas, or message us for ideas.**

Capn was looking at his VINTAGE pornos which were to never be touched. These pornos were from either the old world of Russia, Russian models, and space Ebay. He looked back to Arita who was currently driving the Inquisitor to Mars. "So why are we heading to Mars?" Capn asked with a curious optic looking at Arita while the other looked at his porn mag. "Well Cap, we're heading there to restock on weaponry, stuff, and camp out there. We'll eat the locals," arita said with a smile plastered across his steel face. "Oh wait. Wait. WAIT!" Capn suddenly yelled in distress as Arita soon stopped the ship, eyes full of fear.

"What is it? Homing missiles? The Reef? More guardians? Fallen?" He questioned with uncertainty and a bit of fear.

"I do believe it is worse, bro," Arita's ghost said. His ghost was painted red with gold outlining, and the greatest fact was that it's eye was red.

"NO! SPACEYS!" Capn yelled, pointing to a Spaceys not to far away. (btw if you guys don't know look up TFS Spaceys and you'll find out why. References from that show are being made.) Arita looked to Capn with a really expression before grinning. "Fuck yeah. Alright let's go park it there," arita said, driving forward to the diner in space. "Woot! Bring in the munchies!" Capn's ghost shouted with excitement. His ghost held a neutral color, except for the fact that it was covered in blood…

 **Back at the Reef**

"Forgive me Vanguard, but I see no reason why I should send my guards to fetch Arita and my lover," The Queen of the reef stated, but with slight anger in her tone as she faced the screen of the hologram. She scowled in anger as her brother suddenly stood up and pointed to her. "Excuse me, sister, but we must apprehend these two morons for their recklessness, destruction, and slaughters," her brother tried to reason with but was met with a swift smack to the face that send the little bitch to the floor. "Shut the fuck up. Nobody likes you anyway. Hell even mom hated you, especially when you went through that crossdressing phase," The queen stated with mockery.

"IT WAS NOT A PHASE! I…I WAS JUST SO ALONE!" Her brother yelled as he ran away and pushed the guards. "GUARDS! BRING ME MR. FLUFFY!" he shouted before leaving the room.

" _Excuse me, Queen, but we must ask that you apprehend them at once. The guardians require those two for important work and feel as if they might be our best option. We mean no troubles to you…and your lover. Please consider._

"…Like a bitch," the queen stated and faced the vanguard again. "I shall not apprehend them for it is you who placed them in MY prison, it is you who caused MY people's deaths, and it is you who let an Archon Priest loose from that incident and possibly millions of more from the Prison of Elders!" She shouted with rage. "Goodbye vanguard!"

" _Wa-,"_ The transmission was cut off as the queen soon ordered all her guards to leave. After she was alone she pulled out a small Capn plush and began to hug it and caress its face. "We will be reunited my love," she said with a giggly tone.

 **Meanwhile at the Tower**

"I am sorry my fellow vanguard, but it seems we must apprehend the two guardians ourselves. Round up the female hunters and call them in Cayde, we may need them for this to work," The titan vanguard said authority. Cayde saluted before running off to fetch the female hunters.

Ikora looked at the Vanguard with curiosity. "Why do you need the females? Why the hunters?"

"Because Arita cannot resist a woman in spandex, and those hunters have really tight suits. Made for flexibility, and sexuality."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"It was in the manual," he said with a face full of shame…again.

"God only knows what those two could be doing to cause destruction." Zavala said with fear.

 **At Spaceys**

"Okay so that will be three space burgers, two space shakes, five whole packs of space fries, and with an extra helping of space onion rings. Would you like to try our new space double decker cheese burger?" The nerdy robotic cashier asked as he signed the orders in.

Arita looked at the menu while Capn acted like a kid, literally. "Yes that'll be all, and remember. This is a child, he's just on a growth spurt of his. You know kids?" Arita said with Capn, who had a hat with a little blade at the top and a balloon in hand, who was sitting on the floor.

"Orders will be up in a second. Please go await for your orders sir," the cashier said before the two left and sat at a table. "Why do I have to act like a kid?" Capn asked, still holding the balloon. "You fill the role better, and we need to talk man." Arita said with a serious expression.

Capn noticed it and looked with one of seriousness as well. "What is it?"

"We need to figure out what to do. We were fired from a job that was good, even though they didn't tell us we can get paid, and we were sent to a high security prison, and are now wanted fugitives. We gotta find some kind of way to either get out jobs back, or just do something good, something bad, a little bit of both." Arita said, going to the counter quickly and grabbing their orders before bringing the trays full of food back to them.

"So what's it going to be Capn?" Arita said, tossing a fry into his mouth and eating it. Now as Exos they weren't designed to eat, but they were really special, so they experimented and made it so they could eat and taste human food. Capn grabbed a burger and bit into it. "A lot of both."

"I like that idea, now let's get it started." He said with a smirk before high fiving Capn, but once they high fived Arita's arm fell off again. They both just stared. "We need to get you a mechanic," Capn said before eating. Arita just stared before eating his burger with one hand…He needed his insurance back.

 **Newest chapter done! Now onto the next story for tomorrow I shall start it up. Capn I know it was you…Anyways as always, review, follow, and go on PS3 plz. Love you all, not, goodnight.**


	4. Mars, planet of Death

**Hey there guys. I just got a response from one of my other friends, but I think the story will do all the talking really. So please be prepared to meet up with my surprise later on. For now we will meet our heroes as quickly as possible, but I would like to inform you that my chapters will always contain at least 1000 words. This a story about comedy, comedy really is the big genre here, but there is adventure. For now it is based around our two schmucks now. Chapters may contain more words than usual, because I am generous so be grateful you little schmucks you! ENJOY. Btw there will be a music scene involved with action, so please look copy this**

 **watch?v=U_9kEOmTdDs**

 **watch?v=nU1VfYYKMDk**

 **Also I do not own the music nor do I own the videos.**

Cap and Arita walked out of Spaceys and decided that they had eaten, more like Capn ate everything, including half the plate, enough. As Arita climbed aboard the ship's docking bay a loud shuffling of feet was heard as the robotic nerdy cashier came out, running at them. "HEY! GET BACK HERE! YOU TWO DIDN'T PAY FOR THE FOOD!"

"Oh shit! ARITA! Start the engines!" Cap yelled and jumping into the ship's bay before it closed off. The Inquisitor hummed before a wave of fire burst from the engines, the ship hovering before rotating to the left and blasting off into space. "DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," the cashier yelled out, tossing his hat to the floor and kicked it around in fury at the loss of his money, and possibly his job.

 _Back on the Ship_

"So why didn't we pay that guy?" Arita asked with curiosity, not really sad that he did it, but just curious. Usually they paid whenever they went to Spaceys, but this was possibly the first time they've ever done something bad there.

"We don't have money, and we're criminals. Plus we do worse shit all the time, and we won't live long enough anyways. That job of ours almost got us killed a lot," Cap said, now reading his VINTAGE porn mags again and giggling while he walked away to do his…business. Arita didn't do anything but kept driving until he widened his eyes.

"Wait did he just say something smart? CAP DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING SMART?!" Arita asked in disbelief at what he had just heard. "Porno!" A grunt was heard from the other room as Arita gave a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. God only knows what would happen if he became smart…God help us all." Arita said with fear in his voice. His ghost came online and floated around his head before displaying a map of planets in the system. "Mars shouldn't be too far away. The trip will take an hour at most," he said with an excited tone in his voice.

A loud set of banging came from the room that Capn went into. "Oh god I might be dead by then," he said with pain in his voice.

 _One Hour of Torture Later_

Arita piloted the ship in Mars' atmosphere, placing his Ram on and his Kellbreaker's cloak as usual. He stretched his arms and patted his once fallen arm in place. They had gone to a mechanic which wasn't very far, but god damn that cost him a lot of money. "Cap fetch the key to the armory!" He was tossed a key from his friend who held the same piece of gear, but for titans. He had that saint helmet on and was stretching as well. "Alright guns. Daddy's back." He said in an excited tone before following the ship's left hull to a large door that was locked. He placed the key in and a series of locks were heard dropping to the floor, guns disarming, and a large growling sound silenced. The doors opened and Arita and Capn smiled beneath their helmets. "Oh baby!" Capn shouted, running through the doors.

Capn returned with a Fourth Horseman and a Gjallahorn strapped to his back. He smiled before pulling out The Last Word and laughed darkly before placing a clip into the slot of the Hand Cannon. Arita stepped in as well before returning with two hand cannons strapped behind his waist. He had a Thorn and a Hawkmoon both strapped behind his waist, a Gjallahorn as well. Now unlike most guardians, Arita was a dual pistols kind of Exo. If anything, Arita was the only guardian who ever held two hand cannons before, and was possibly the only gunslinger with the skills to use them. Even as a Warlock he was good with it. "Let's ride." He said, going to the hangar bay and bringing out their palms, summoning the ghosts.

"What do you want, Cap?!" An excited ghost said, flying around everywhere while Arita's just batted an eye in response as a hello, gears turning slightly. "Ride?" He asked the Warlock who smiled beneath his helm and nodded. "You got it boss and boss!" The excited ghost said, bringing forth a Sparrow from the realm of nowhere.

Arita's also summoned his sparrow as well, both of the sparrows floating above ground by a few inches. Arita's sparrow had a red paintjob with gold linings and two black stripes along the two front panels. Capn's was a white sparrow painted in a bloody fashion and had the words, _Badass,_ written into the side of the Sparrow.

 _Mars Ground Level_

Two sparrows flew across the sands of Mars, passing by rocks of all shapes and sizes and knocking over a few stray guardians by accident. One was walking before a sparrow knocking him over and into a rock, an audible crack heard as well. Both of the sparrows dashed across the sands, dodging right to the left from the obstacles that lay before them and heading straight towards a cliff. "Bet I can make a more badass landing than you could!" Capn challenged, going full throttle and flying off the cliff before an explosion occurred and the Titan was sent straight into the ground, falling into the sand before coming across a rock and grabbing onto it for support.

Arita narrowed his optics beneath his helmet and drove off as well, jumping off his sparrow as it also blew up into parts and pieces, Arita landing with a teleport and slamming the ground, sand flying everywhere. "You were right. That was a better landing," Arita said, pulling out both his hand cannons and loading them up.

The Titan soon climbed back to his feet and dusted off any sand caught in his armor. When they both looked in opposite directions they noticed quite the mess they had stepped into. On Cap's side there were forty three Cabal soldiers, each holding a respectable weapon in hand and aiming their weapons at Cap who pulled out his Shotgun and loading the rounds into it. Arita was met with at least fifty seven vex infantry, along with a Minotaur at the back. They pulled up their guns and aimed at Arita.

"Cue the music?" Capn asked, smiling beneath his helmet with a maniacal grin. He moved his feet slightly, the cabal moving around in a spread out position to possibly catch the guardian off guard. There were a few other bodies, but it seemed they had stopped a fight and decided that killing two guardians would be for the best. Apparently the vex thought logically as well and decided to act as well.

"Cue the music, ghost." Arita said, his ghost appearing from his side and flying higher before broadcasting a song throughout the field of battle.

 **((Cue Music that was at the top plz))**

Capn smiled before charging headfirst into a line of gunfire, skillfully dodging each one before taking flight into the air and bringing his kneecaps into the head of an unfortunate cabal whose head was knocked clean off, helmet crushed beneath the strength of the knee. His rifle arm accidently blasting off four stray shots that killed two cabals and blasting right arm of one cabal as well. He smiled and took aim, cabal running towards him, and fired off three quick shots into the chests of unfortunate cabal who slammed into each other form the impact of the gun. They fell to the ground and Cap immediately began slamming his fists into the unfortunate cabal, even gripping one's fist and slamming his head into the helmet of a cabal, breaking through and shoving the barrel of his Horseman into the mouth of the cabal as it widened its eyes at the gun now in its mouth.

"Bang, bang mother fucker!" Cap shouted, and a large splash of blue covered the sands. More cabal began charging straight at the titan, hoping to clobber him into paste.

 **((Cue this music for Arita.))**

Arita walked through the sand, brushing his cloak aside to reveal his guns from behind his waist. He pulled out both of his guns, spinning each one in hand and walking slowly towards the herd of vex that aimed their guns. Three vex with heavy void weaponry began to charge before,

 **BANG! BANG! BANG!**

The very same vex found their guns were blown off as they were charging, also causing a large explosion to occur, blowing up at least seven or more vex with each of the explosions. Arita smirked and spun his guns in hand before taking aim and firing off shot after shot. A thorn found its way into a cabal's chest, instantly smashing it into pieces, parts flying into the sand. The Hawkmoon aimed its gun at seven vex who began firing a sequence of shots that Arita nimbly dodged and took care of them. "Like shooting fish in a bucket, bitch!" Arita said, holstering one gun before tossing out a void grenade into a main section of the herd of firing robots that instantly shot at Arita who fired his Thorn back, taking out a few but not before ducking beneath a large piece of stone.

The void grenade's tendrils slipped out and smashed into nearby vex, disintegrating their bodies into nothing but atoms and dust, sending them straight to the void. Arita stepped out of his rock and began running towards the herd of vex, blasting apart each one with precision that matched that of a sniper. He smashed the barrel of his Hawkmoon into the chest of one of the beings, blasting it repeatedly before it ran out of ammo. He quickly smashed the barrel into a vex head, sending it flying. He quickly teleported into the air, reloading his Hawkmoon before closing it. He jumped over a rock and landed next to Cap who had taken down at least thirty cabal. "What's your, DIE, kill count?!" Cap asked, smashing the butt of his gun into a running cabal. Arita smirked at his friend. "Twenty seven. You?" He asked, blasting a thorn into the head of a Vex and slamming his palm into its running body, destroying it completely. "Thirty one," the Titan said, smiling.

"Time to end it?" Arita said, charging his right hand with all the void energy mustered.

"Combo?" Cap asked, his fists soon charging with a load of electricity coursing through his servos. "Yep!" Arita said, jumping onto a rock and teleporting into the air and using the height he had gained to fly high, activating glide while getting rid of his blink. Capn flew to the same height as vex and cabal gathered, forming their numbers to mix. A hail fire of void and solar shot up into the air, blasting apart the skies. "FIRE!" Capn yelled, leaping straight down into the field while Arita's hand threw a large orb of void that followed through. The Titan was caught in the void but somehow used it flew down, VOID and ARC both working together, and creating a shockwave that caused a crater and a massive explosion of dust, robot parts, and blue blood and cabal bodies to fly. Arita landed down with glide to a cabal body whose body was half gone, the side of it anyway, as blue blood leaked from its missing side. "Well there we go. Dinner man! I'll grab the grill, you grab the bodies!" Capn said, running back to the ship to fetch the grill.

"GET THE KNIFE AS WELL! THE VERY BIG ONE!" Arita called out, stepping off the dead body and pulling a fresh, and full, dead one from another part of the crater and onto the slope.

 _Vanguard Tower_

"I believe I have a solution to fetch our rogue guardians. He is an elite, specially trained in our most advanced arts, and trained to be the ultimate Warlock. I hope he meets your requirements," Ikora Rey said, a warlock coming through the door with Light Beyond Nemesis covering his head. He had the Lord of Wolves strapped to his back and looked at the Titan vanguard who looked pleased. "He has also had encounters with them. I believe he will do nicely," she added in, smiling with pride.

"What's my mission, sir?" He asked, a more awoken like voice in his tone. "You will be capturing two rogue guardians and are to bring them back. You've had a history, as I hear, and I believe you will be the perfect candidate to find them." He said, showing Arita's and Capn's mug shots.

The calm Warlock soon fell to the ground on his knees, grabbing his helmet in pain. "No…no... _ **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,"**_ he yelled out into the air.

"Oh Agent IronWolf why?" Ikora said, groaning in frustration and closing her ears from the sound.

 **That is right guys! My friend IronWolf, or aka on PS3 , iRonWolfZz_935, is joining my story as well. I hope you like it man! If you want to add him or tell him to give me any ideas, it would be helpful. But please, if you plan on being rude or sending insults to my friends I won't be very pleased by that. I hope you enjoyed the story! Goodnight Detroit! I MEAN AMURICA!**


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